keeping up with the joneses er, wait, the kardashians! mommy-blogs, and social media

With all of the social media, it-blogs and available "research," it is easy for new moms to be overwhelmed...even before the baby arrives.  There are the new ways that we can parent and sleep train-oh and don't forget baby led weaning. There's the baby gear WE HAVE TO HAVE, not to mention the importance of the right diaper bag and realizing that if we are not on-The Pregnancy Websites That Shan't Be Named-we are so behind the times.  It is amazing that we don't have a breakdown before we start.

I tried to keep up.  I checked in with my due-date groups, left messages on the boards and gave my opinions, oh Lord, did I give my opinions.  As did everybody else.  It was fun and informative for the most part.  But I was in awe/jealous/envious of the ladies that had it sooo together already.  They were going to cloth diaper (CD,) exclusively breastfeed (EBF,) had birth plans (BPs,) (and many other acronyms) were going for a natural birth with their Doula...and somehow they were able to afford EVERY in-style and hip piece of baby gear that is out this year.  Not to mention the hipster nurseries decorated in chevron patterns and silly owls.

I had grand ideas for myself too; I was going to have the nursery in perfect order before E came, I was going to labor as long as I could before accepting the drugs (I wasn't going to try to be a hero and say no to an epidural.)  I was going to to use cloth diapers while I was home on leave and then when home from work, and I was going to breastfeed.

Well, the Lord and universe had different plans...E came a month early due to my pre-eclampsia complications. I had to have an emergency C-section at 4 in the morning.  The damn wound didn't heal for 4 mos.  and I had home health nurses coming over every day for months to clean my gaping wound.

I was so disappointed that I didn't get to experience the normal labor, short hospital stay, happy visitors and 3 mos. of fun time (not working!) with my boy.  I cried a couple times, wallowing in my "woe-is-mes."  But I realized how stupid and what a waste of energy these disappointments were.

I got over them real quick.

I have an amazingly sweet, funny and happy little boy.  He is that easy baby.  He rarely cries.  He laughs at us.  We had to supplement with some formula, the Dr. recommended Neosure, so he gets some extra vitamins, minerals and calories that preemies need, but that turned out ok, as he takes a bottle and the boob like a champ.  No daycare transition problems with this little guy.  He was ok with not having a trendy baby swing, or any swing for that matter.  He likes his non-Ergo, non-Bjorn baby carrier just fine.  I tried using the cloth diapers that my sister passed along, but they leaked and he didn't like the giant hunk of fabric around him since he was so small.  'Sposies it was.  He's considerate in that he poops once a day, most always at daycare and he sleeps through the night-IN HIS CRIB.  Take that!  His decorations are still sitting on the shelf, waiting to be hung up in his room.

How can I be sad about the way he came into this world, when he has become the center of my own magnificent world?  And we can't forget, he puts up with his own mamarazzi wannabe!

I think we as new moms, in this opinionated-TMI,-over-sharing-society, just need to relax and do what feels right.  Use that mother's intuition and things will be ok.  It's not a race to see who can be the best Etsy-er or coupon queen or be Susie-homemaker-while-working-full-time, oh and blog about it consistently!

We can try though.

i don't own a camera

I covet a fancy, DSLR camera that will take amazing natural light photos and make my child look angelic in all poses and situations.  Especially photos with brightly colored balloons and melting ice cream and he'll be wearing rubber galoshes too.  Ha ha.

Reality is that I have a six month old baby and an IPhone.  His life in pictures is on the phone.  I'm a terrible mom.  I haven't downloaded the pictures in case I lose my phone.  Most are also on the Facebook, but still, total mom-fail.

Since this is my first post on this blog, let me introduce myself, or rather, the self I want to be on this blog.  You see, I'm going to be anonymous this time in order to maybe be more honest, creative and hopefully  figure out what I want to do when I grow up.  Plus, if in fact this blog becomes famous, I don't want stalkers.  My name will be Razzi, baby's name will be E and my husband's name will be JB. Pretty simple.

Its a pleasure to meet you all, thanks for reading and following.